Poetry by Ma Lan: Autumn Words 秋语

Autumn Words

I feel a little hungry, but don't know
If I should eat something. Tonight autumn has already begun.
Perhaps, for you, this is dry information--
Volition and grief of a shattered drinking glass--
Maybe it’s as inconceivable as options to spare.
Just now, I draw open the window and stand before it.
The curtain grazes me, wanton and blithe.
Autumn bears wind,
Adornments half-hidden, partly concealed, from the eye,
Eyeing each other as we reap crops,
The crops we sowed alone, the wind-blown crops,
Arousing crops, flitting into view
Having lost one’s way with a fluid border.
Did Eve eat mango or an apple?
Fruit does not transfer,
Fruit makes women's lips ripen.
But I get hungry, when I’m loitering in the past.
I drape a floral tablecloth around my body,
Paper napkins line up to conceal my breasts,
I think: gazing at plums quenches thirst, sketching small cakes satisfies hunger.
In this harvest season nothing’s inconvenient.
Before I know it, my body’s covered in tears,
My tears have fallen into another’s hand, or
They lie in wait in my mouth.

September 1996, New Haven

秋语

我感到一点饿，可我不知
该不该吃东西。已经立秋了
已经在深夜
或许只是干燥的信息
玻璃杯破碎的那股意志和忧伤
或者像多余的选择一样不可思议
正是这个时候，我推窗而立
窗帘擦身而过，放肆又从容
秋天是有风的
眼到之处是半遮半掩的衣饰
眉来眼去的收割，庄稼
自己种下的庄稼呵庄稼
感动白色出没
太多的迷失，一种液体分界线
夏娃吃的是芒果还是苹果
水果不能互相替代
水果使女人的嘴最先成熟
可我饿了，当怀旧的时候
我身披一块碎花桌布
让餐巾纸裸体陈列
我在想，望梅止渴、画饼充饥
在收获的季节
这没有什么不方便
我一动不动全身就充满了泪水
可泪水又被谁握在手中或者
依然躺在我的嘴里

（1996，9，纽黑纹）