Sunday, March 15, 2009

Poetry by Ma Lan: A Woman Like This 这么一个女人

A Woman Like This

Once upon a time there was a woman from a distant land.
She ate, slept, caught cold, even married.
She shined her shoes with eyes wide open, focusing on their colors, noting their moods, talked big about her private life.
This woman was most probably a beauty, red showing through white (1).
I imagine she’s spectacular; but simply because a woman’s beautiful
Are her shoes wider, larger than mine?
My primary job is to help others gauge distance.
The distance between one person and the next, calculated by feet and inches, is more measurable than the distance between this woman and me.
I’ve been sluggish since the day I was made,
The day I first risked danger of abstraction; who says fear is the harbinger of a troubled pregnancy?
Women who have had difficulty birthing remain logical, especially those quasi-beauties who show black through yellow.
Oh, beautiful woman,
At twenty you will die of revolution, at thirty: illegal cohabitation,
At forty: an auto accident. The man who died on the road is the poet of our generation.
Poet, oh fond and cherished poet, am I still your princess?
If I'm not, then on whose throne do I reign? crazy and tender as I am?
Tender as snow, I'd rather be a humble tile than precious jade hammered into shards.
Dubious life, virtual life’s sold--the woman or me?
One or the other. Woman plagued with painful wounds, will you, gazing at the fire from across the shore,
Pay me your last respects? I want you to be satisfied; the thousand-mile journey begins
on the tip of your typing fingers.
The waters flow back and forth in decipherable patterns, but what’s to come of me this year!
I, a woman who plants nine hundred-ninety kinds of roses (2), know that grasses bend only when wind blows,
That no one can duplicate my craft; I know when you are in the kitchen thinking of me and tasting bile, tempering your resolve (3).
I have long since departed. We live in distinct castles, anonymous eyes watching out for us over ramparts.
We both have good judges of talent behind us (4). I’m constantly changing direction, searching
For an exit. The trains pass quickly
Through the tunnel
I see countless schools of fish swimming above my head, joyous.
Is this the process of naming, my prized, inspiring hometown friend (5)? How far can this kind of woman walk?
Though it is said she has married, eliciting outrage,
This kind of woman must resort to buying public bonds to repay private debts, both sides wounded, defeated.

April, 1998
_____
Notes:

1. “Showing through white” is a common expression describing beautiful skin; Lan plays on this later in the poem with “black showing through yellow,” describing ugliness.
2. This line is from a popular song, the kind often sung in karaokes in China.
3. Literally translates as "sleeping on brushwood and tasting gall." The dictionary explains, "The state of Yue was defeated by the state of Wu [during the Spring and Autumn Period of the Eastern Zhou dynasty, 777-475 BC], and Gou Jian, King of Yue resolved to take revenge. He would taste a gall bladder and rest on brushwood before eating and sleeping to remind himself of the humiliation he had experienced. After a long period, he finally defeated the Wu."
4. Literally "Bo Le," a name of a legendary connoisseur of horses in ancient times. His name is synonymous with “a good judge of talent.”
5. Another venerable idiom, literally "arising for sword practice at cock's crow.” The dictionary explains, "In the Eastern Jin dynasty, Zu Ti and Liu Kun were good friends and often encouraged each other, and both rose at cock's crow to play with their swords.”

这么一个女人


我觉得,有一个女人在遥远的天国
她吃饭睡觉感冒伤风,还嫁了人
她把皮鞋擦得察言观色,把私生活夸张到直径水平
这样的女人最可能是白里透红的美女
我想象,美女,有一个女人是美女时
我的皮鞋是不是增加了宽度、高度
可我每天主要的工作是帮人测量距离
距离与距离的关系比我与女人的关系更有尺寸感
可我感受到时差,从出来的那天开始
那天冒着被抽象的危险,谁说危险是女人难产的前沿
难产过的女人都很逻辑,尤其是黄里透黑的准美女
我准美丽的女人呵,我认为
二十岁她将死于革命,三十岁死于非法同居,决不可能
四十岁死于车祸,死在路上的是我们时代的诗人
诗人,我又亲又爱的诗人,我还是你的宝贝吗?
我不是你的宝贝那我坐在谁的宝座上如此疯狂温柔!
温柔如雪呵,我发现我真是宁为瓦全不为玉碎了
可疑的生活,虚拟的出售生活,我或者女人?
两者必有其一。我且痛且疼的女人,想隔岸观火为我
送终吗?我承认你应该得到满足,千里之行始于手下。
水流过来又流回去,很格律的运动,可我的一九九八年!
我种九百九十种玫瑰的女子,我发现风吹才能草动
发现谁也没有重叠我的手艺。在厨房卧薪尝胆你想着我的时候
我早就走了,我们住在不同的城堡,都有一双眼睛隔墙警惕我们
还说我们拥有伯乐。我告诉你吧我在路途中不停地转换方向想
寻找一个出口。火车轻易地穿插而过
我在邃道里看到无数的鱼群从我头上游戏、欢喜
这是命名的过程吗,我闻鸡起舞的同乡。这样的女人可能走多远
虽说她成长为已婚者,激起公愤
这样的女人只能买公债还私债,两败俱伤

1998,4

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